Will you let me into the Verso Loft? I’ve been analyzing Digital Strasserism from a post-ironic angle. The nazbol gang is approaching, and all of this Trotskyist larping must be displayed at the gallery before someone shows up with an ice pick. I believe we can debate this like normies as we cancel each other in ironic gestures. This absurdist theater is getting plagiarized. My factory of edgelords is more enlightened than yours. We are not afraid of using the aesthetics of crypto-fas[sm to fight against the state. Will you let me into the Verso Loft?

Will you let me into the Verso Loft? My virtual gallery has a new anti-corporate exhibit this Friday night in hyperspace. People and aliens of color wear blindfolds to portray their struggles on shiny black and white photographs. A robot recording plays repeatedly. I was banned. I was banned. I was banned. This robot is a statement against censorship. My statement is ready for your bank. Will you let me into the Verso Loft?

Will you let me into the Verso Loft? I am diverse, (die verse) yet against the sameness of your diversity all at once and twice and infinity as repetition. My infinite regression wants to show you a good time. Will you let me into the Verso Loft? I will break your Marxist deconstruction down into a reactionary wonderland for cynical decadents. I am building a mod revival and I want to show you my hate speech. I am penning a thesis called Irony as Disease - The Praxis of Communication in the Age of Cancellation. Will you let me into the Verso Loft? 

Will you let me into the Verso Loft? I have a tyranny of the proletariat cookie to show you for my entropy of powerpoint presentations. You will find it inside the manual of the photoshop next to my dictator uniform that I made at the Torture Garden. (nightclub) Were you there that long night my troops started the counter-revolt on your backchannel? You called it research and I called it labor. (knives-of-the-workers) Who are the real fascists now? Will you let me into the Verso Loft? Do you like my outfit? I was wearing it when you were wearing your ideology to the barcade. You could learn a lot from my post-nationalist subscribers if you took a minute to orient yourself to my praxis. Will you let me into the Verso Loft?

Will you let me into the Verso Loft? You must be feeling so bored and lonely and obsessed and repressed. Hateful without a soul to discuss your desires with. I wish only to have a productive discussion on the mechanisms of empire of you. Would you rather there was no red in the brown? (just a giant brown turd is that what you really want) Hear me out for a moment. Will you let me into the Verso Loft? I think we can all be mature about this now. I mean, we’re all just a bunch of degenerate bohemian intellectuals. Will you let me into the Verso Loft?

Will you let me into the Verso Loft? I may be gassing you with my mind, but you’ll be reporting me to the board so I suppose we are even. If you let me into the Verso Loft we can shake hands. I can call my troops off of your enterprise and you can call your cancellations off of my body politic. We can get back to building the ultimate dialectic as we fight against materialism. Hegel would be proud of us, you know. Open up your mind a little bit. This is a really impactful hate speech. If you could take the time to understand the layering, I am sure we could come to a mutual understanding. Do you like my critique? Will you let me into the Verso Loft? 

Rachel Haywire is the Founder of Trigger Warning and your hostess for the new insurrection. She is a consultant, author, musician, and model. Currently, she is running for President of the United States under the banner of the United States Transhumanist Party. Her Twitter is @BeyondTheCenter.